What is Wrong with me? - Battling Focus In the Throes of Perimenopause

You've stood up from your desk and walked across the office. To your horror you've forgotten what you'd got up to do. You look around, desperately trying to make eye-contact with another midlife woman, hoping to grimace together about the loss of your marbles.

Sadly, you're surrounded by men, and however nice they are, they don't have a clue.

The powerhouse 30s appear to have faded with the shoulder pads, and you're left wondering if this is dementia or... menopause. It's menopause. Probably.

Your estrogen is tanking and it's rugby tackled your focus on the way down. There's so much talk about estrogen and it's relationship with fertility, but we don't entertain a lot of discussion around what it does to your brain.

In simple terms when you're brimming with estrogen your brain will think properly, think fast, retain information, keep you calm, focussed and goddess-like. Without it, we struggle.

After 35(ish) your estrogen begins its decline, but it's not a gradual change, it is an absolute rollercoaster of highs and lows, until you settle down, post menopause. Which is often why the perimenopause stage can feel so erratic, and like you've become an unrecognisable person.

Now, I'm not writing this, to deliver horror, dread and 'let's all give up now we're past it', far from it. I'm going to share some tips on what you can do. Will these be a silver bullet and solve all issues and bring us back the brains of our 20s? No, but it will take the edge off.

The secret lies in food, sleep and strength training.

Statistically, we do not eat enough protein or fibre, and when you discuss diet with anyone, they're speaking the language of restriction, not addition. Unfortunately, in today's society, 'eating healthy' rarely means 'eating enough of what I need'.

I want you to approach food as a set of achievements to unlock.

If you want your brain to work, you are going to need to lend a hand. Protein - at least 1x your bodyweight in KG. Fibre - 30g a day.

If you're chasing an itty bitty waist and itty bitty waist alone it will come back to bite you. Your priority now is happiness, health and longevity. (You should know though, this is the only way to hit your vanity goals after 40... what a result!)

Next on our not-so-glamourous brain list is sleep.

I appreciate this is a difficult thing to hear when you're in the throws of night sweats, racing thoughts and snoring partners, but let's be honest with ourselves for a moment; how restless are your evenings: are you doom scrolling in bed? Is your room cool, relaxing and a place of serenity... or an irritating display of unfinished tasks?

Are you binge-eating at 10pm because you're stressed? Do you make space for 7-9 hours sleep, or do you keep overriding the 'are you still watching' notification?

I know it seems impossible, especially when your brain is sluggish but if you go to bed at a set time every night, in a curated room, without a screen for 30 minutes before you hit the pillow, AND have a chore chart that the entire house chips in on ...your sleep will improve.

Start aggressively purging stress, put your foot down, demand household equity, and get a system, and a spare room if you must.

Your brain, your peace and your work performance will thank you.

Finally, the 3rd big piece of the puzzle, strength training.

I'd be willing to bet you told your friend or your loved one that you're falling apart recently. Things hurt that never did before - but you haven't done anything new! You feel more exhausted than ever on the stairs, and don't even talk to me about lifting suitcases into the loft.

You are getting weaker, and it's not fair, but are you doing enough to stop it?

Weightlifting in midlife is on the rise, and thank goodness, because it's one of the only ways, and I would argue the most effective way, to counteract a myriad of menopause related ailments. Back pain, muscle loss, osteoporosis, obesity, joint pain, fatigue, sleep quality, mood regulation, focus and more.

We need it, more than we ever did before. Swimming, Zumba, walking... are great but they are not enough.

I know the weights are scary but being physically disabled, when you didn't have to be, is far scarier...

In summary, you've got some stuff to be getting on with.

If you want to be in with a chance of salvaging your brain, your body, your career, and your quality of life you must be willing to ruthlessly take stock of your living situation.

Honestly ask yourself:

• is my diet hitting my fibre and protein or am I shrugging and saying 'it's fine, I think'.

• are you guarding your sleep like your life depends on it, or are you saying you're too tired to do all that?

• have you exhausted every angle of lifting, or did you go to a gym once and despise it?

It's annoying, but these three steps will revolutionise your life.

One day you'll be on the commute, laughing at how stupid it is that after everything... coaches selling you 'Cognitive capability' workshops, supplement bundles costing £100s and biohacking protocols buried behind paywalls... sleep, eat and lift was actually all you ever actually needed.